A festival of attacking rugby, Stroud style

16 players – check.
Keyan’s mars bar mountain – check.
Stroud hoodies and T-shirts – check.
Weather proof gazebo – check.
Reasonable weather – check.

Stroud U11’s were officially ready to take on Weymouth Festival and see if they could do better than last year. The players were looking forward to the challenge, the coaches were ready and had a spreadsheet to show them which players to use for each game, but guest match reporters were more apprehensive and comparing notes to see what they could include in their write-ups…….

Everyone had met up on the Friday night in the Clubhouse for customary drinks and also to see if the blue army of Stroud hoodies could outnumber the purple wearing Old Grammarians. Fat chance! They had camped out in the bar and it was about 4 deep for the purple army. It was raining outside but that didn’t stop the kids enjoying themselves, and also helped to soften up the ground after 3 weeks of bone hard pitches and scraped knees and elbows.

On Saturday morning everyone met up at the new festival venue – bit of a walk to get there from car park but loads of space and much better than the squashed and boggy facilities of Weymouth RFC in 2014.

Saturday dawned with the first injury before the games had even started. Coach Mark had woken up with an immobile neck. Some feeble excuse of blaming the beds that are 3 ft long in a standard caravan and having to sleep at a right angle. Don’t have that problem in 5* hotels do you Jenks ;-)

It had been observed that Marks neck was fine on Friday night while necking the pints of Worthington’s so perhaps it was the sleep that had crocked him. Luckily Delia was on hand with magic potions to sort him out.

The kids got warmed up with various ball drills and wrestling games. The parents got warmed up with rounds of coffee or pints of beer. The newly purchased team gazebo was proving to be a big success. Quick to put up and take down and a lot more sturdy than previous versions. We had soon set our sights on bigger and better things and now want a large Havant style sail flag.

The weather looked to be dry for the majority of the day. It was only going to get wet at the end - as Stu was taking over the match reporting task and trying not to smudge his copious notes.

Game 1 vs Dorking Cockerels

Match Reporter: Russell

Stroud Team: Orgy, Stoner, Keyan, Tom H, Hammo, Dave, Arthur, Finn, Alex

Stroud were in the 1st game of the festival as the headline act and determined to kick off the 2015 Weymouth festival in style. There was a problem though…. …we havant got a ref. The chorus of comical chanting started. “We havant got a ref”. Even the tannoy announcer had to put out a call for the match referee. Finally the coach from Team Havant turned up and the game could start.

Would the comedy continue or would a serious game of rugby break out ? With a name like Dorking Cockerels there was plenty of scope for more comedy, but this is a serious publication and we won’t need to stoop to that level of reporting until later in the day when your guest match reporters take over.

Dorking started well with some attacking play but some strong defensive tackling by Orgy snuffed them out. Some eggsellent play by the Stroud backs had Dorking on their back claw, sorry foot. Stroud were really strutting their stuff like a rooster but plucky play by Dorking with scrambling tackles kept Stroud in check. What did I say about a serious match report ?....

Dave passed to Finn who passed it straight back to Dave who was looping around the back. Tom H was supporting well and had a good run up the middle. The ball was passed onto an early arriving Arthur - he’s never late to an attacking move. He got as far as the try line but was held up. Keyan was there though to pickup the ball and score the first try of the festival. 5-0 to Stroud. Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better we then got the over enthusiastic tannoy announcer screaming Keyans name in adulation and Keyan responded with an arm clap above the head. Dad Jon dug into his wallet to find a £1 coin, but soon realised he might need to pay Keyan his try bonus in notes.

Dorking kicked off and Finn had a good run back but was forced out of play. In the watered down rules this meant not having lineouts and instead Dorking got the ball with an attacking move. Keyan didn’t like this so promptly dropped the Dorking player on his backside with a great tackle. This caused a turnover and Arthur ran the ball back from deep. There was then a toing and froing of attacking play from both sides with the backs starting to find space with good flowing play.

In one attack the ball went through everyone’s hands and ended up with Alex on the wing. He made some good moves and dodged a few tackles but couldn’t avoid a big Dorking tackle that forced him out of play. At the restart Dorking gave the ball to their big guy and he rumbled through a few missed tackles and scored the equalising try in the middle to make it 5-5.

At the kick off Dorking knocked on so Stroud had a great chance. The forwards were fired up to win this first scrum. There was no way that Stroud could lose, especially as it was uncontested! Tom H got the ball and fed Finn to the left. The ball came loose but Hammo dived on it and set up the next attack. Stroud then attacked to both the left and right with flowing moves. Dorking were getting more into the game though and big tackles by them were slowing Stroud down and forcing the ball backwards. Tom H was alert to this and recovered a loose ball that was bouncing dangerously back towards the Stroud line. With a mazy run he relieved the pressure.

Stroud then setup to attack again with their trademark fast flowing rugby. Disaster struck though. A floating pass through the backs was intercepted by an alert Cockerel and he flew down the field to score a breakaway try to give Dorking a 10-5 lead. The whistle blew and an entertaining opening half had ended on a low ebb.

The 2nd half started with Keyan doing a good run back from the kick off. More good attacking play from Finn, Arthur and Alex set Stroud up deep in the Dorking half. Just as we thought Stroud were going to re-assert themselves another wayward pass was intercepted by Dorking and another long run back made it 15-5.

The next phase of play was highlighted by another new rule. Stoner went on a rampaging run and ran over a Dorking player who seemed to bounce 5 yards backwards. As the parents got excited with this show of controlled aggression the referee thought otherwise and blew up for a penalty. He had invoked another obscure South coast rule that means an attacking player in full control cannot make contact with anyone else. The Stroud coaches were really struggling to get their heads around the festival rules. Jo was tasked with working out the kick-off rules, Phil was going to see how to win uncontested scrums against the head and Mark how to defend the line-out re-start ball.

Stroud were still determined to get back into the game. Hammo fed Dave and he scampered up the left wing but a good Dorking tackle denied him a try. Stroud kept the pressure on though and this time it was Orgy’s turn to have an attack. He was held up and passed it to Keyan who was unfortunate to knock on the high pass. Dorking attacked back but good tackles by Alex and Orgy denied them. Hammo snaffled up a loose ball and went on his own attacking run. At just the right moment he offloaded to Dave and he carried on the move down the right wing. Play broke down though and the referee blew for full time. Stroud had been unlucky to lose this game and had played the more flowing and attacking rugby but 2 intercepted passes gave the victory to Dorking.

Final Score: Stroud 5 – 15 Dorking Cockerels

Game 2 vs Old Grammarians Faith

Match Reporter: Jonathon – special mention goes for the Early submission of his match report (boom, boom!)

After a disappointing game against the Talking Cockerels, Stroud still came out with their tail feathers high to face the ubiquitous Old Grammarians at 11.15am.

It was the O.G.’s Faith squad but Stroud were certainly full of faith as they squared up to the purple opposition (who by now were in full O.G. battle dress!).

At kick-off both teams showed their determination & desire as the battle ensued. Stroud gained possession. A shy young boy appeared from the carnage to weave his way through the opposition like a slippery eel and score. I think his name was Arthur. 1 - 0

Will. H. now kicked off which left us confused about the rules at this point. Parents were scratching their heads - especially Flash’s dad (but that could have been more about whether it was appropriate to make the trek to the bar this early in the day). With the O.Gs having possession Archie E administered a punishing tackle as the Stroud machine tried to pin down their enemy, but to no avail as the purple menace put the ball down for a try. 1 - 1

The ball was kicked off & excitement grew - possibly more because the bar might just be opening. Will.H. caught the ball and was skillfully supported by a wiry pantechnicon Laurie. At the breakdown Lewis was fed the ball and dodged his way through a wall of opposition. A scrum clash featuring Jenks safely delivered the precious stash to the same young man and there was a mad dash but alas no cash for Dash before the half - time whistle blew.

Little time was wasted before the second half, giving a tiny window of opportunity for the Stroud Faithful to make their dash to the bar.
A high kick by the O.G. dancing troupe began the final 6 mins. Both sides squatted down for an uncontested scrum. Stroud pushed the ball out to Arthur, then out to the Archmeister, but the O.Gs gained possession only to be thwarted by heroic tackling from Will.H. and Flash. Tidy play by Will.T. offloaded the ball to man-mountain Jedd who crossed the line and planted the ball for a try like Neil Armstrong’s moon landing! 2 - 1

Stroud were now on the front foot at kick-off. The purple marauders scrummed down and gained possession but Faith was ebbing away as Stroud turned the ball over. A maul turned into a mauling with Jenks doing well in the fray. Good forward play resulted in a fluid pass out to the Archmeister, and on to the wiry pantechnicon blistering his way through for a try - the Laurie was well & truly parked. 3 - 1

Further forays by both teams followed with the Tidey one hustling the opposition close to their try line. One more scrum gave Stroud the ball close to O.G’s try line, but to no avail as the final whistle blew.
O.G’s Faith had been tested as Stroud left the field with a heart-warming 3 - 1 victory. In George Michael’s words “you gotta have Faith”.

Game 3 vs Haslemere

Solid Stroud crack the Hazel Nuts

Match Reporter: Mark O

I think it was John Lennon who wrote “If you splash your new black Levi’s with Dettol Mould and Mildew Remover™, the joy of your clean shower will be marred by irritating purple blemishes on your jeans”.

So, was the joy of a resounding victory over Old Grammarians going to be marred by a blemished performance against Haslemere? Absolutely not.

Haslemere kicked off promptly at 11:45 and put the ball into touch 10metres from the Stroud line. Haslemere forwards, who looked strong from the word go, were quickly up on Stroud from the restart but some strong rucking from Stoner, Tom O and Keyan kept them at bay and put the ball out to the backs where a spilled pass gave Haslemere a scrum still about 10 metres out.

A dangerous dart by a Haslemere back was emphatically finished by a typically superb Fin tackle which caused a spill from Haslemere and a Stroud scrum. Haslemere were straight up on Stroud and regained possession but solid performance with a couple of crunching tackles from Alex saw the ball being carried by both sides until the deadlock was broken when Alex decided it was time to tidy up, bringing down the Haslemere carrier, collecting the ball and passing out to Dave who made a cracking 20metre run only being prevented from a sure try by an excellent Haslemere tackle.

By now the penny had dropped that this was actually a very sound opposition Stroud were facing. Haslemere were straight back on the attack but Stoner dispossessed them feeding Archie C who made a lengthy and determined run, only to be frustrated by more strong tackling from Haslemere who robbed Stroud of possession and looked dangerous in their counter-attack. Their advance was promptly halted as Archie C, clearly still indignant from his spoiled attempt, planted the Haslemere attacker and won the ball back.

A handling error by Stroud gave Haslemere a scrum but they in turn fumbled in the backs giving Stroud the put-in at a scrum on the halfway line. A great run from Archie C and then Hammo, linking well with Dave then Fin took Stroud deep into the Haslemere half. Keyan had his say, gaining another few metres, by which time the backs had regrouped and worked well again with Tom H continuing his excellent service to Hammo who in turn fed the hungry backs getting Stroud ever closer to that try line.

Haslemere showed true grit with some great tackling and an unlucky spill by Stroud prompted the referees whistle for half time. No score at the midway point but what a great spectacle the crowd had enjoyed. Stroud had played well in the first half but what probably passed us all by was the wearing effect their pressure must have been having on Haslemere.

Stroud took the restart and Haslemere ran straight back at them but Stoner and Tom O put up a solid wall, Tom H snapped up the ball and donated it to Dave who made a fantastic run being bundled into touch just inches from the Haslemere try line.

From the restart some quick thinking by Tom H identified an opportunity and he shot towards the line only to hear the whistle as the referee realised he (the referee) had made a mistake.
Stroud were now starting to dominate and a well-constructed move instigated by Alex, developed with a good straight run from Archie C and involving most of the side culminated in a beautifully timed pass from Tom H to Keyan who broke through three tackles to score the first try after 10 minutes of intense Rugby.

Stroud 1 Haslemere 0

Confusion was still reigning about restarts but either way Stroud reopened play and some quick pressure from Fin flustered Haslemere who dropped the ball which was promptly picked up by Tom O who made a dash down the wing with Archie C on his flank making a good few metres before some solid defence from Haslemere saw the ball go into touch well inside their half.

Some solid rucking demonstrated how well the Stroud forwards work together with Stoner and Keyan showing no mercy and Tom O bravely putting himself at the bottom of many body stacks. Stoner showed his versatility by then involving himself in a lovely backs move with Tom H and Fin which put Stroud ever closer to the try line, again only frustrated by fine Haslemere defence.
With thirteen minutes on the clock that Hammo –Dave symbiosis that so often benefits this side saw Hammo make a 10 metre run, drawing in half of the Haslemere defence before delivering a well-timed pass to Dave who, alone, skipped through the remaining Haslemere players to plant the ball firmly behind their try line for a cracking score.

Stroud 2 Haslemere 0

Stroud pressure continued after the restart with Keyan making an incisive run and feeding Fin who continued to look dangerous. Haslemere were able to keep Stroud out and won a penalty, Stroud being offside. Stroud kept their nerve with everyone tackling well, confident that if, by chance, they missed a tackle Alex would mop up, and Haslemere’s late surge was not enough. The final whistle blew.

This was a solid performance from Stroud which saw them defeat the side who would later go on to be joint runners-up in the tournament.
 
Game 4 vs OG Duty

Grammar Lesson

Match Reporter: Geoff

Stroud team: Archie E, Archie C, Jedd, Dave, Arthur, Callum (sub Keyan), Stoner, Lewis, Laurie.

This was the match for which the phrase ‘anything that can go wrong will go wrong’ might have been invented. After a couple of good wins against strong opposition, Stroud lined up for this one in confident mood, but as the boys waited for an AWOL ref, a sense of foreboding set in.

Finally Grammarians kicked off, over-hit it, won a frankly bizarre 5 metre scrum from which they went blindside and scored in the corner. The second play of the game was identical to the first, and Stroud were 2-0 down before they had touched the ball. Things improved slightly when from the third kick-off we did manage to secure possession, but a turn-over at the ensuing ruck led to a try in the left corner. The fourth try quickly followed and had at least the merit of involving an excellent jinking run to the line (how we applauded). The fifth....you get the picture. The sixth... yeah well.

Half-time gloom was enlivened by Jo having a cordial discussion with the ref about the tournament’s ‘random rule generator’, but Stroud were staring down the barrel of a record defeat. Could our shell-shocked troops rally? Could the ref stop making random decisions? Could Grammarians think of a dafter name than “Duty” for their team? The answers, respectively, were Yes, No, and No (unless you think “Honour” is dafter than “Duty”.

Finally Stroud started to get their hands on the ball and show that they can play. After a series of good tackles put Grammarians under pressure in their own half, Stroud won an attacking penalty, but Jedd was unlucky to spill the ball with a try looking odds-on. Poor Callum took a heavy blow and was substituted by Keyan who was immediately involved with Stoner in another good attack down the left, leading to an attacking scrum. Finally Lewis got his hands on the ball and scared the life out of the Grammarians defence before the ball was finally lost in contact.

Stroud were fighting back. A spectacular Arthur tackle won the ball back, and both Lewis and Keyan made good ground down the left and won a penalty from which Dave went over in the right-hand corner. This would have brought Stroud right back into contention, but he was controversially declared to have put a foot in touch, and the fight back was postponed. From the resulting scrum a classic Archie C snipe led to a try re-set because you’re not allowed to snipe. As the seconds ticked away Grammarians went back onto the attack, but fantastic tackling by Archie E, and then a wonderful kick and chase by Lewis relieved the pressure.

The game’s highlight came just as the final whistle went, when Jim Curtis, pint in hand, nonchalantly plucked a swirling high ball out of the air, to show that Stroud were down, but definitely not out.

The darkest hour is before the dawn. And this was a pretty dark hour for Stroud U11’s. Stroud had been blown away in a surreal first few minutes, but the team showed tremendous spirit to keep their heads up, fight on, and achieve a drawn second half. This was the low point, but Sunday’s never-to-be-forgotten march to glory was so much sweeter because of it.

Man of the Match: Jim Curtis.
Attendance: Yes.

Game 5 vs Reading Sharks

Match Reporter: Rick

It was calm - a calm that befits a tense final. This was not a final, but with 2 wins and 2 defeats, a victory was essential. Stroud prepared well - chips, Pringles and fizzy pop - preparation of champions!

Light breeze. Somewhat overcast - the scene was set.

William started the game with a great drop out but the Sharks retained possession well, until an infringement gave the Reading team a penalty. Quick-tap, three passes and the Sharks were in for their first try. Some fierce tackling from Fin and William gave Stroud good momentum, but a turnover in the tackle gave the Sharks possession and quick hands down the line and Reading were 2-0 up!

Jim was on his medicinal (apples) juice for his nerves.

Arthur and Alex were industrious in their tackling before Laurie made a great break down the left flank but a lack of support (you’re too fast Laurie!) meant Reading re-gained the ball and spun it left through the hands and try three was conceded… boo!

Half time - Reading Sharks 3 - Stroud Warriors 0 (nice ring, eh?!)

Jo had motivational words.

Bill supped his beer.

Change of ends, hoping for a change of fortune. A fantastic run and dummy from the live-wire William (who you calling a dummy…!!!!??) set Laurie free for another fantastic mazy run, weaving like coach Mark last night after 137 pints of Worthington's. Stroud now had more momentum and set Laurie away again for another strong run…. still no tries for the blue n white hoops. Keyan cleared out brilliantly and set up Alex for another run. From the Stroud scrum, Tom passed out brilliantly for Arthur to have a tremendous run - just short of the line! Will T was strong in the tackle felling those pesky Sharks. A nasty looking injury took Alex to the ground but he’s made of tough stuff, that boy! Dave - get off the pitch - no sub required!!!

In the last few moments, Laurie, who was running well throughout, was cut short on another fine run coming to nought… and nought was the final score for Stroud as the hooter blasted and the Reading Sharks were victorious 3-0.

A strong performance by all - Man of the match - as voted by Geoff, Russell, Bill and co…. was shared between Will T, Alex, Arthur and Laurie!

Congratulations to Reading - 3-0 winners at full time.

Game 6 - The mighty Stroud versus Dorking Roosters

Match Reporter: Stu

25 April 2015 – 1400 hours (going on 1530...)

Stroud team: Dave, Archie E, Alex, Dash, Jedd, Will T, Tom H, Orgy, Keyan

In overcast conditions could Stroud U11s lift the gloom that had descended in the past two games? Would the strange and changing rules finally push Jo over the edge? Personally, I was hoping so......Mark was obviously feeling a pain in the neck from somewhere...

So, nothing else but a win against the Roosters sufficed, but could we cockle doodle do it? The nerves were jangling and the atmosphere was tense, to be expected when you follow in the footsteps of a legend journo such as Russ.....

Ahhhh, about to start and here comes the rain. Oh no, Mr Hat was officiating once more, could things get worse? Handshakes done and we were off – Stroud to receive.

An immediate knock-on led to a scrum midway in the Stroud half. Great tackling from Dave led to a break from Archie E who immediately looked to be away and running, only to be brought down by a tap tackle. Turnover ball ensued and the Roosters immediately strutted their stuff, returning the ball through minimal challenge to score an early try. 0 – 5 down and the boys were left looking at each other.

Showing an uncanny knowledge of the rules in force for at least the next 10 minutes, Dave opted to again receive. A longer kick was met with a super catch and go from Dash, covering the length of the playing surface, only to be denied at the line by an over friendly Rooster cleverly disguising a man hug as an attempted tackle. Great support play from Keyan and Orgy and the ensuing pressure led to a mistake and a Rooster knock forward. Stroud were starting to dominate in the loose and diving in amongst flailing bodies to win numerous turnovers.

Pressure on the try line, scrum down – come on boys!! Our domination on put-in at the uncontested scrums continued – a clean hook and we have the ball. Tom H cleverly dives down the blindside – a move that we would learn would become illegal in a future tournament rule change – but again, the ball was held up on the opposition line.

Another turnover led to a decent spell of ball through hand from the Roosters. Stroud though had remembered that tackling was still allowed and a great hit from Keyan forced the error. Loose pass, interception from Dash and the parents were celebrating with 20 yards to go. A well deserved equalising try on the brink of halftime.

The whistle came and time to reflect in the rain. Interestingly, “roosting” is the action of perching aloft to sleep in the day, let’s hope that the boys aren’t caught roosting in the second period....

Mr Hat, who as an aside had so far received slightly less abuse from Jim as in previous games, weakly blew up for the restart. A deep kick was returned with vigour from one of the largest roosters (phew – glad this was not the other Dorking) but his run was covered superbly by Will. The ball bounces around and under pressure Jedd takes control and puts everything into holding on. Fantastic commitment and if it could be possible, Jedd was visibly growing in stature.

Pressure was growing on the boys and it was clear that their opponents were relying more and more on their key man or King Rooster as the crowd had crowned him. Another direct run, despite attempted hold-ups from Tom H and Dave and a decisive score was looming. But no! A terrific tackle from Alex denies the opportunity. Just as the Stroud away fans believe that the danger has been averted, another simple turnover, one pass and we decide to let the Roosters regain the lead. The most frustrating Try and it is now 5-10.

Tactics change and we opt to kick. A short grubber is picked up and a series of plays through the hands sees the ball move from side to side as more pressure comes on the Stroud line. Credit should be given to the Roosters for this period of play, whose feathers were clearly up at this stage and the ball finally ends up with the big Rooster once more, despite some notable tackles from Will. The inevitable happens and our boys find themselves 15-5 behind with seconds left.

Finding themselves behind, particularly after two successive defeats would be the end for most. However, Stroud were determined to end on a high and a plucky last effort was perhaps a sign of things to come on Sunday? Three great phases of play directed by Tom H, saw a terrific run from Dave and great running and support play from Archie E and our rampant forward Keyan. The ball ends up again in the clutches of Dash, who pins back his ears and heads for the line. Unfortunately, a foot in touch and the ref blows up for the end of the game.

In summary, in difficult conditions, this was a strong performance just to keep the notes dry enough to read later. The Stroud boys put in a greatly improved display, demonstrating their amazing team spirit, only to be denied by a good team. Their passing game was getting noticed and praised by opposition teams and the tackling from Will, Orgy, Alex and Keyan deserved mention. Stroud 5 Roosters 15 was a little unfair at the end, but a good game nonetheless.

Now back to your normal match reporter…..

Evening Entertainment

Most of the kids met up in the swimming pool and continued to have fun – and wash off the mud from the games! Unfortunately Callum had 3 hours wait in Dorchester hospital A&E Dept while they tended to his arm injury. Luckily it wasn’t a bad injury but still needed a sling and tablets for a week to help reduce the shoulder bruising.

Everyone then met up at Mark and Sam’s caravan for the traditional social evening. Callum was clapped in and everyone was relieved he wasn’t badly hurt but sorry that he was going to miss Sunday’s games.

Kids ate pizza and sausages, parents ordered fish and chips which Sam kindly collected, and everyone drank and became merry. Host Mark had come prepared and had read the H&S manual to say that a limit of only 30 was allowed in a deluxe caravan. In another confusion over rules the Stroud contingent thought this was some quirky South Coast, festival only ruling and could be ignored by people from Gloucestershire (the home of proper full contact rugby rules).

At the last check Mark was convinced we had squeezed more than 40 into the caravan. The static caravan was about to go mobile and slide down the hill if we weren’t careful. Luckily the intake of 40 rounds of fish n chips was enough to counterbalance the cider and lager intake and the caravan stayed put, admitingly bowing in the middle when people moved to the fridge to get refills or furnish their food with ketchup and tartare sauce.

The kids headed off to cause chaos in the disco, the arcade games and around the park. This left the parents to have more space to move into. It was noted that there was still more space with 30 crammed in 1 deluxe caravan vs ‘Team Whiteshill’ who were squeezed into a small Standard caravan. They had opted to save their holiday budget for drinking and the 10p coin-pusher machines.

Speaking of budgets a whip round was held and presented to Jim to help him buy another sock, or a darning kit. Unfortunately 58p, 4 beer caps, and a dodgy foreign coin was not enough so Jim gratefully declined our generosity and instead offered to put it towards a future rugby tour.

Stu then got excited and offered to project manage a 2017 British Lions tour to New Zealand. The most expensive bit was going to be the travel so we improvised and using ingenuity we spotted all the spare wooden chip forks and started to construct a raft out of them. Somewhat concerned over the ability to take everyone’s weight, and provide enough oars for propulsion our project manager offered to call in a few favours and get one of the nuclear subs to attach itself to our raft to provide buoyancy, navigation and propulsion capabilities.

Silly conversations continued for the rest of the evening as we gravitated towards the Clubhouse for a few more quiet shandy’s…… time clicked around to midnight and we rounded up the kids and sent them to bed. Perhaps not the perfect nights rest before another hard days rugby. Would we suffer the next day?

Thanks to Mark and Sam for providing their generous hospitality once again.