A good start to festival weekend with 4 wins out of 5

It all started with a Simon Mayo shout out on Radio 2 Drivetime “Stroud Mini and Junior rugby players are off on tour to Weymouth Festival. Come on Stroud!! From Full back Alex”. Then the phones started ringing. Some saying they heard the message. Others were teams hastily re-arranging their rugby tour plans to avoid Stroud at Weymouth and instead go elsewhere. We later heard on Radio 2 that Clifton rugby were off to Bude instead. Did anyone want to face Stroud U12’s?

A tortuous road trip in the rain was rewarded with a chance for the players to meet up and have the first of 2 late nights partaking in RFU approved team bonding exercises such as playing arcade games, dancing to discos, listening to music in the park and hanging out around each other’s caravans. Parents equally enjoyed their time catching up over lemonade, or stronger flavoured drinks.

Saturday morning dawned with clear blue skies. Cold, but dry. Where had the rain gone? We always had rain at some point at Weymouth. The team went through warm-ups to shake off the late night cobwebs and try and energise the tired little boys. Their vocals were lively as per normal, just lacking intensity in the running and press-ups, like normal!

Festival rugby meant changes to the normal rules we use. 10 minute games, down to 12-a-side with no Number 8, no pushing in the scrums - just hooking - and finally no lineouts. New formations were explained to the players. Keyan was going to be moved out to centre and Arthur was going to move up to 2nd row to show his prowess at turning over the ball.

Technology had also introduced itself to Stroud rugby. Russell took over the role of video analyst (aka Go-Pro monkey) which meant handing the pen and paper to various parents who stepped up and took on the role of match reporter and penned the works of comedy and fiction (often Shakespearean influenced due to his 400th anniversary of his death) over the next few pages…. Would their observations match the video footage? Probably not - it never had during Russell’s tenure as match reporter.

Game 1 Stroud vs Dorking Cockerels

Match Reporter: Mark O

Overburdened Wuss - Try Glut

The title means nothing but just happens to be an anagram of Stroud Rugby Under Twelves .
So, against the backdrop of a clear blue sky and a biting wind the crowd roared in eager anticipation as Stroud trotted confidently onto the pitch and were duly greeted by Peter Kay on the public address.

As a strategic ploy Arthur lined up with fellow forwards Mr T, Laurie, Stoner and Orgy and looking equally formidable in the backs Hammo stood with Hilly, Keyan, Dave, Fin, Alex and Joe. Dorking looked suitably worried as Stroud performed their psychological Hacka; fixed stare, silent, motionless and menacing beyond belief.

Hammo mustered the acquired intellect of half a year at St Peters and won the toss which apparently gave us no choice other than to kick off.

Dorking gathered and put in an immediate strong attack, moving the ball well and advancing on Stroud at pace. The scene was set as Stroud quickly constructed a human wall of resolute tackling with demonstrative hits by first Keyan then Dave and finally Arthur, who, true to form, added insult to injury by robbing his prey of the ball.

Dorking responded with equally ferocious defence and were able to retrieve the ball but were then punished for holding as again Stroud thwarted their advance with tackles from Stoner and Fin. An alert Keyan made a great run from the penalty and was finally bundled into touch no more than 5 metres from the Dorking try line.

Dorking looked dangerous as they launched a quick attack from the lineout but again determined tackling by Stroud with crunching smacks from Alex and Fin caused them to knock on giving Stroud the scrum.

Hilly put in with geometric precision and a fast hook by Orgy had it back with Hilly at the tail of the scrum who collected and then delivered with a blistering speed that was to become his hallmark as the tournament progressed.

Stroud then put together one of their showpiece back line moves turning up the pressure yet further with Joe making another of his elusive and incisive runs to which Dorking responded with yet more stolid defence. It was clear that Stroud were up against very worthy opponents with very similar levels of skill and identical determination. Dorking stole the ball and there followed a period of back and forth mid-field rugby with both sides keen to play an open game but at the same time both defending with intense commitment and bravery.

A clever kick from the Dorking standoff put the ball into touch as they ventured into Stroud’s half for the first time.

From the restart Stroud regained their lost ground with a clinical attack involving Dave Will and Arthur but again Dorking showed their strength in defence winning it back and then putting in a huge kick way beyond all of the Stroud players, except Alex of course, who with his usual discipline and mental prowess had read the situation well, remained in position and was able to collect the ball with a an impressive take and then launch a counter attack which caught Dorking uncharacteristically napping.

There was a brief moment of delight and confusion as Alex grounded the ball at a point which all the spectators and some players alike thought was the try line but was in fact a random white line of no significance. In our minds it was a try so who cares what the referee or the man with the microphone felt.

The mess was tidied with a Dorking scrum 10 metres from their try line which they won, then lost the ball following a strong tackle from Mr T, after which his team mates conspired to give the ball away again, only to repossess following an awesome tackle from Hilly and a ruthless repossession by Joe all of which again illustrated just how finely balanced this opening game was.

Laurie continued his fully committed disposition with a determined run which was again snuffled out by solid Dorking defence that saw the ball go into touch. Dorking put on the pressure with a strong run towards the centre line but successive strong tackles from Keyan halted them in their tracks and left them penalised for a high tackle. A quick restart by Stroud saw another of Stoner’s intelligent runs with a beautifully timed offload to the backs which led to an all-inclusive attack which resulted in a feed to Keyan who charged forward and scored a well-deserved try, after 13 minutes of nail-biting entertainment.

Dorking took the restart quickly but made the mistake of donating it to Dave who put in a searing run, with Will on his shoulder putting Dorking firmly on the back foot again. Will released a beautifully timed pass having lured 3 or 4 Dorking players into his Venus Flytrap and Fin and Hilly continued another great attack before being held up by yet more great defence by Dorking.

Joe showed Dorking that they did not have the monopoly in frustratingly superb defence by a strong wrap-up tackle on a fast moving Dorking ball carrier who lost it forward in the tussle. The scrum was quickly won by Stroud and another intelligent run from Hammo and Keyan looked dangerous but was snuffled out by determined defence from Dorking and the final whistle blew.

A great game to watch between two very evenly-matched sides with equal bravery, skill and determination, which set the scene for an exciting completion to come. Great leadership from Hammo and a lovely good natured, sporting approach by the whole team left all the Stroud followers very proud and optimistic.

Final score: 1-0 to Stroud

Game 2 Stroud vs Dorking Roosters

Match Reporter: Stu E

After a positive start and with the sky still holding fair, Stroud made several changes to the playing squad to host the other Dorking team. After seeing off the Cockerels in game 1, it was now time to match themselves against the Roosters. Joining the fray for the first time were Callum, Edgar, Jed, Archie, Ryan and Dash with some of the boys sampling new positions including Keyan who was determined to combine the playmaker / crash-ball centre role into one for the day.

The event commentator continued to struggle to identify even which team was on the pitch, having been drafted in from his regular slot at the Lakeside, but at least he provided a comical backdrop for the parents, who were struggling to cope with this newfound tournament form.

The Roosters lined up in Red and White and kicked off with Stroud in their traditional home colours. The kick was short and caught by Will who was immediately under pressure from a good chase – perhaps Dorking were targeting our half-back? Good work in the ruck, which unfortunately we were not able to say too often in this game, resulted in clean and fast ball to Keyan. What came next was strangely poetic.....an exaggerated side step like John on the dancefloor and a succession of rubber legged feints saw him glide through the first three challenges. Then the turbo kicked in and the power and focus which took Keyan over the line for his and the sides first score of the game. Stroud were ahead before the words “Game On” had finished reverberating around the pitch.

The Roosters changed tactic and decided to receive. A deep kick off from Will gave Dorking the chance to move the ball through the hands until Arthur got in Early with a strong tackle and the ball was turned over. Ryan fed the ball out to Archie who returned the ball with intent before being pushed into touch. This gave Dorking a chance to open up their Rooster legs and move the ball. At this stage of the game, Stroud were attempting to tackle and a strong wrap from Stoner gave an opportunity for Will to steal. Having just been thwarted, Dorking again moved the ball nicely and a good spell of possession and pressure saw them advance to 10 yards from the score line.

Another tackle saw the ball knocked loose and Will relieved the pressure with a solid kick. Dash made a strong charging chase and despite Dorking returning the ball to halfway, a knock-on gave Stroud the chance to win the uncontested scrum. Ryan fed the ball from the scrum immediately to Keyan, who this time dispensed of the fancy footwork and simply charged toward the line again. This time a fantastic intervention from a Rooster managed to hold the ball up and successfully kept the score to just 1 – 0 to Stroud.

The game then entered what we could describe at best as a subdued period. Tactics changed from the opposition who adopted a kicking game and also from the referee, who clearly was enjoying the uncontested nature of the scrum as he began to give a succession of them, almost in spite of the play that was in front of him. Some of the decisions were particularly harsh on the likes of Edgar, Callum and Dash, who were gamely throwing themselves into contact.

Finally, Stroud got the ball into hand once more and put a decent move together with the ball moving from Ryan, Keyan and Arthur to Archie who again made yards before being tackled. The referee penalised Stroud for not releasing the ball which saw the first touchline protestation from Joe, who pointed out politely that the tackler must release whilst imitating a Rooster with his rapid arm movement.... The referee was unmoved and from the resulting penalty, Dorking abandoned the kickfest and ran the ball once more. Stroud had been visibly shaken by the succession of scrums and stoppages from contact and decided to strategically stop tackling. At all. The Roosters saw a flaw in this approach and found that they could run toward the try line unchallenged for the equalising score. All eyes immediately turned to the Stroud coaching team who as expected took this setback with calm and some poise....

To be fair, all eyes pretty much followed the coaching staff most of the game as they insisted on standing between the crowd and the pitch.

Stroud kicked off again and with their tails up, the Roosters continued to run the ball. Stroud reverted to plan A which incorporated tackling in the defensive plan and this proved to be a more successful method of winning the ball back. A period of further scrappy play included a good steal from Archie, some further scrums and a couple of penalties for high tackles. Stroud continued to struggle to gain any continuity in their game and benefitted from a knock-on to provide them possession.

When a draw was looking probable, the ball was once more passed to Keyan, already garnishing himself a strong tournament reputation, who once again produced. By now the trademark side step began what can only be described as a mazy, crazy run, that took him past at least 7 beleaguered Roosters and again produced the score! Stroud 2 Roosters 1.

Confidence now starting to rise and the boys could at last start to enjoy themselves. Ryan, himself enjoying a fine game, passed the ball to Jed who, clearly enjoying Weymouth again, took off on a run gathering opponents with every step. Just as the crowd anticipated the game sealer, the referee again interjected and gave what surely was the most strange scrum decision of the game. Orgy wins a ball against the head and this time the ball finds its way to Dash who saw a chance to finally open up his legs. A super run was halted by some fine defence and a whistle blow from the official to signify the end of the game.

A strange game was over and despite being far from their best, Stroud had secured a good win and continued their 100% record so far. As Mark O commented – “we were Dorking lucky to win that one”, at least I think that is what he said....

Final score: 2-1 to Stroud

Game 3 Stroud vs Horsham

Match Reporter: Jonathan E

Friends, Stroudies, countrymen, lend me your ears!

There is comedy, there is tragedy, as once more unto the breach dear friends the valiant squad go forth to battle. For brave Will doth begin our skirmish as a high ball through yonder window breaks. At the maul, perchance, doth ripping occur, as you like it, when how now, the ball is Hillyʼs and on to the Tempest (Keyan) for a try!

Forsooth it is 1 score to nought.

ʻTis a Will kick-off and once more a yonder window breaks as Stoner comes forth to bring down the Horsham marauders. There is much ado about nothing as measure for measure the Archmeister wins possession and weaves through the Horsham crew. Alas, they run amok and the Stroud collective stands still and announces ʻIs this a ruck we see before us?ʼ, and the Horsham boys a penalty doth get. The mighty Fin receiveth the ball and passion, I see, is catching, as he offloads to the one called Stoner near to Horshamʼs try line. The cry from all is ʻStill they comeʼ. The boy mountain Jeddʼs light burns bright as he as ʻBottomʼ declares ʻBlow winds and crack your cheeksʼ as precious territory is gained. Jordan scoopeth up the ball and doth offload to Keyan, but the Tempest knocks on and loveʼs labours lost.

On cometh the Lewis machine and off the mighty Fin. Scrum down, my liege. Wouldst the ball be possessed again? Was it to be or not to be? There is some rucking over to success as the Tempest picketh up and scoreth with great vigour.

2 scores to nought.

The ball is kicked to begin again and the pressure ʻtis good from Joe and his merry men. Once again the Stoner doth make yardage with timely support from Jordan. Some more ripping of the ball ensues - hither and thither it goes - before the enemy, grim-visaged make territory.

All the pitch is a stage and all the men and women merely players, yells Jo H as the Stroud band of warriors ruck over. Young Arthur yells ʻ A horse, a horse, my kingdom for a horseʼ as he rip-tackles the opposition. Gaining possession the nag-less youth doth reach the try-ine and scoreth.

3 scores to nought.

One more foray by the embattled enemy doth come to nought as they are hustled out at the try-line.

Final score 3 scores to 0.

The taming of the Horsham crew was not so much a comedy of errors, but more a statement that some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them, and by 12.25pm allʼs well that ends well!....

Match 4 Stroud vs Haslemere

Match Reporter: Chris H

‘Arc de triumph’

Forwards: Stoner, Laurie, Tom O, Callum, Jordon
Backs: Archie, Dave, Ryan, Edgar, Keyan, Riley, Will H

Will H kicked off having won the toss into the wind towards an advancing Haslemere. Could it be 4 wins out of 4? Ryan chased eagerly to apply good pressure, but they charged towards us. A fine tackle by Archie as he managed to halt their player ensued, but not before he off-loaded. Dave put in another thumping tackle to show them that we meant business, followed by Tom O and Ryan. We continued to apply the pressure as they struggled to find a way through. We won the tackle at the breakdown with Will H collecting the ball and advancing, with a pass to Edgar. It was their turn tackle now towards the halfway and they gained possession. A great tackle from Callum disrupted their flow, but they continued to advance.

Dave put in another crunching tackle on a big second row. Archie picked up the ball and started a great attacking move before being sucked into what quickly developed into a ruck. The ball came back our way but unfortunately we knocked on. From the scrum we managed another one against the head to obtain possession only for us to knock on after a good run by Fin. We continued to apply the pressure through solid defence, keeping them penned into their own half. As we approached the 5 minute mark it was still 0-0, would this be a test too far or would they cave in?

From another restart Dave made a cracking break and after a chase was brought down. Following the restart Dave managed to collect a pass from Ryan and he was away, 1-0 to Stroud. The restart was gathered by Fin who went straight on the attack before they had hardly got their breath back. An offload to Keyan followed as he went on a rampaging run-could he be the next ‘raging bull’? He brushed the tacklers aside for a fine touch down making it 2-0. I longed for a quote from a Beetles song……but my memory escaped me.

Joe collected the kick from the restart this time going on another attacking run, supported by Stoner. Good hands from Stoner and Ryan before a great offload to Dave followed as he went in again for a ‘brace’ to make it 3-0 to Stroud. A quote from a Clash song was emerging…….but escaped me once again (or was it a song title from the Kaiser Chiefs-‘I predict a riot’?)

More Stroud pressure followed as they rarely got in our half. With Alex also now on there were several rucks but they still couldn’t break us down. A couple of great tackles from Keyan and Laurie followed, but still no real way forward. The ref blew up and we had our fourth win.

Final score: 3-0 to Stroud

Game 5 Stroud vs Topsham

Match Reporter: Geoff H

Four out of five ain’t bad

Stroud team: Will T, Stoner, Jedd, Orgy, Arthur, Joe, Hilly, Ryan, Alex, Lewis, Dave, Arthur
Stroud subs: Will H for Hilly, Callum for Jedd, Finn for Alex
Topsham team: big lad, that fantastic full back, the little feller who tackled like a demon, some other kids

As the sun set over the Dorset Riviera, a hush descended on the Field of Dreams (aka Redlands Community Hub). We were about to witness the first of three epic showdowns between the west-country giants, Stroud and Topsham. Both teams had disposed of their home counties opponents like men against stockbrokers. Now it was the real thing, between two teams from the rugby heartland. Could the yogurt knitters make it a first day clean sweep? Or would the Devon cream teas win the battle of the cider drinkers?

Stroud decided, as usual, to play uphill, presumably in an attempt to even things out for our weaker opposition. However, this didn’t look like such a good plan when Topsham’s big lad ran it straight back at us and looked like he was headed for a try in the corner. Joe heroically put him into touch, but Topsham put together another couple of phases, went wide, and thought they’d scored in the corner. Fortunately, there was a knock-on in the build up, and Stroud had a chance to get into the game with a scrum deep in their own territory. A lovely dummy and half-break from Ryan ended in a penalty to Topsham for a Stroud fly kick. Meanwhile Hilly had taken a knock, apparently trodden on by someone who didn’t notice him down there. Delia, made her 463rd foray onto the pitch, wishing she’d never admitted to knowing something about injuries and stuff, and patched up a minor graze gaping, stud-inflicted gash over the eye.

Topsham put together a lovely move, including a stunning dummy pass by the big lad, Stroud looked in a bit of bother, until Hilly, blood-soaked bandages covering the staples in his forehead, managed to rip the ball off the big lad in the tackle and win a scrum deep in our 22. Keyan took it up, and fed the ball wide to Lewis, but again Stroud were penned back. A fabulous Arthur steal™ briefly relieved the pressure, and a break by Dave finally got us up the hill and into the Topsham half. The thinner air up there definitely helped, as a couple of quick phases led to the ball swinging out left to Lewis in a nanometre of space. There was only going to be one outcome, as the fastest under 12 on earth jinked inside to touch down under the posts.

Just as we thought that an incredible day 1 clean sweep might be on, Topsham roared back like a Devon clotted cream tea with extra cream (must work harder at metaphors). Running the Stroud kick straight back, past a series of desperate but rather unsuccessful tackles, they equalised within seconds of the restart.

The cream teas were on a roll now, with a threatening move that looked like a certain try, until it was abruptly ended by an earth-shattering tackle by Will T that had seismologists running to their instruments. Topsham had the put in at a scrum on the five-metre line, and after a nifty bit of handling, their outstanding full-back hit the line at about 50 miles per hour and scorched over for a fine try.

Undaunted by this devastating turn around, Stroud picked themselves up for a rousing finale, but Topsham could almost smell the scones of victory, and put together some more fancy handling moves in the Stroud 22. Stoner put an abrupt stop to this with a frankly terrifying tackle. But Stroud could find no way back, and the game ended at 2-1 to Topsham. The chance of a Stroud clean sweep was over, but we ended the day on top of the table, and looking forward to a multi-ethnic, yoga-based co-operative craft fair, we all trooped off back to the team hotel.

Final score: 2-1 to Topsham

Topsham match report from their website

Final game of the day was against an immensely powerful Stroud side. They were big, well drilled and very hungry. They had been runners up in a festival the week before and were there to make amends. It was by far our toughest game to date. Stroud had one or two stand out players, not least Keyan…a tall athletic, tough and hard (though clean) player. Our lads spotted the danger and marked him out of the game. Topsham came out on top 1-0 which left us equal top of the table with Stroud.
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To celebrate her hard work Delia felt the need to put her thoughts into a match report….

Match report -Medical version

12 peri-pubescent lads run onto the pitch –often a bit tired it takes 5 minutes before their outer cortex kicks in & they notice they are a team –then they are like turbo charged Ferrari’s –with no brakes. The 12 body habitus range from diminutive to adult size . Totally unaware of their hyper mobile joints, not fully calcified bones & immature nervous systems they lob themselves at each other ( apparently I’m told -in a trained safe way) before one ( with more developed musculature ) breaks free & puts a ball down over a line. They then reinforce synaptic connections in their pre frontal cortex ( which controls social connectedness & personality development ) & jump about exuberantly feeling good about their physical abilities & team spirit.
-another fine day on the rugby pitch.

Wrap Up

The combined try score today was 10-4 to Stroud.

The kids debriefed with the coaches to talk about how well they had played so far, and to go and enjoy the evening activites, but remember there was still a 2nd day of rugby to look forward to.

Later that evening we congregated at two caravans to enjoy a sumptuous supper of starters galore followed by curries and chili, and topped off with puddings from heaven – and the mandatory beer and wine. Good job we had dry weather and could mingle outside. Fitting 60 people into the Organ caravan would have brought out the H&S police, plus Guinness Book of Records.

During the evening it was decided to abandon the Lions tour to New Zealand in 2017 because only 5 more chip forks were brought along to give to Stu to add to his combined boat and sub design.