Berry Hill Buried under Blue Avalanche

The pitch was wet – very wet. Captain Will was having kicking problems from in front of the posts. His welly boots weren’t helping but the footing underneath was treacherous so they were the right footwear for the conditions. In Delia’s absence Chris was hoping for a quiet game – but as prepared as ever he was researching the correct medication to give a severe case of trench foot – hot and cold spray of course. That worked most weeks when Delia was away……….

Our friends from the Forest Berry Hill were the visitors to the Somme – quite apt after Remembrance Sunday last weekend. So could Stroud do the double and beat both Forest teams after dispatching Cinderford 2 weeks ago?

Forwards: Carlo, Orgy, Bernie, Darion, Laurie, Jake, Euan, Mr T
Backs: Lofty, Will, Dave, Arthur, Billy, Big Mac, Alex
Subs: Stoner, Callum, Jed, Perys, Flash, James

Stroud kicked off and were quickly into their stride. They turned the ball over and this gave the forwards a good attacking platform. Mr T smashed down the wing taking 2 opponents with him. Berry Hill were penalised at the breakdown so Stroud took a quick tap penalty and attacked right and then back left. Jake was taken pout with a powerful tackle but the ball was recycled inside for Bernie to crash it closer to the line. With defenders getting sucked in the ball came out left and Will deftly stepped inside the uprushing defenders and scored a try untouched. The conversion kick was good for a 7-0 lead.

Berry Hill kicked off and Stroud were disorganised at the kick return and lost the ball. A scrum restart to the foresters played to their strength and they pushed well to give clean ball to their backs. They attacked left and then kicked into space but Alex was ready to recover it and run it back. Good rucking from Darion and Bernie got clean ball to Will and he hoofed it upto halfway to relieve the pressure. Berry Hill won their lineout and attacked right but a sharp tackle from Carlo dislodged the ball and an alert Will picked it up and quickly shipped it onto Dave and then onto winger Billy who lit the blues n twos and accelerated up the wing for a great turnover try. Will’s welly's let him down from the touchline and the kick sailed wide. 12-0 to the fast starting Stroudies.

Dave took the kick return upto half way. Euan took on the attack but a jarring tackle dislodged the ball and Berry Hill quickly turned defence into attack. Good hands from their backs worked a gap and they crashed through the middle. With only Alex to beat we feared the worst but Mr Dependable was ready and took the attacker down with a typical low tackle. Berry Hill kept the ball alive and worked their way closer to the Stroud line but stout defending from Orgy and Bernie kept them out. Stroud won a turnover on their own line and Lofty kicked long but Berry Hill were well prepared and ran the ball back well towards the left flank. Euan was there with the 1st tackle soon followed by Bernie making his presence known. Berry Hill were going backwards so they were forced to kick and the ball went straight into touch so back for a Stroud lineout on halfway. This didn’t go to plan (aka Gloucester vs Toulouse) and Berry Hill took control but good rucking by Stroud earnt a turnover and Big Mac weaved his way up the left. The forwards took over and went into Rhino mode and battled their way up the pitch. This gave the backs space to attack but a forward pass denied them a try. Back for a Hill scrum that they duly won and they sniped down the blindside but an alert Lofty tracked back and forced the Forester into a knockon. Stroud win their own scrum and Mr T picked from the base. The ball came out to the backs and quick hands got it out to the right and Big Mac got upto the Berry Hill 22 before great tackling denied him. “Never fear, Laurie is here” came the cry from the home supporters. And true to form the lock crashed through 3 tacklers from the 22 and scored a try under the posts. He had done the same vs Cinderford 2 weeks ago. This time he denied us a swallow dive – either because he was embarrassed about the photo that was bound to follow – or the fact there was a lake under the posts and he didn’t have his swimming armbands on…… 19-0 as Will’s kick flew over. He had changed into Flippers to help with his footing…..

Another Dave kickoff runback followed by Euan and Bernie taking the ball into the Hill half. Indiscipline though gave Berry Hill a penalty and they kicked to the Stroud 22. Laurie intercepted their thrown but the ball went into touch again. This time Berry Hill knocked on under pressure so Stroud had a scrum restart on their own 22. The game settled down for next few minutes into alternating scrums and attacking phases finished by errant knock-ons. It finished with a classic Stroud back’s move and a looping Will taking the final pass from Alex and then releasing Big Mac down the wing to score a well worked try. This time the conversion kick was from wide out and Will just missed and hit a beached whale that was frolicking under the posts. Or was that Coach Stoner trying to swim off his man flu/hangover/Delhi Belly/fear of the rain? (*delete as appropriate depending on what evidence you are aware of……) 24-0 to Stroud.

Dave was again the kick return specialist. This time he dragged 5 tacklers with him into the Foresters half. Then Jake and Arthur pounded their way into the Hill 22 and close to a try but good breakdown work won Berry Hill a turnover and they kicked for touch. Reliable Laurie won the lineout from another accurate Orgy throw. Lofty went sniping. He was taking this Somme business to far….. The ball came back to Will and he launched a mortar into the Berry Hill dead ball area. The brave Berry Hill full back in full disregard for his own health caught the munition, avoided the lethal kick chase and made it out to his 22 – only to be turned over by more Stroud breakdown expertise. Jed smashed through the Maginot line and threatened a try. The ref blew for a penalty and everyone waited for a rest and compared their notes for GCSE History to see if the match reporter was accurate (Clue – he wasn’t – please use you own notes to pass your exams and not my fictional match reports).
Berry Hill missed touch with their kick and the game ended up in kick tennis. Stroud won as Alex slid under a high kick and then won a penalty.

The rest is History – good history…..Will kicked for the 22, Laurie takes the catch, Jake crashes up inside. The backs quickly go right and the winger scores in the corner. But Big Mac was wearing a sub coat. Flash took the glory with his first touch of the game and Coach Samak claimed a super-sub credit and was going to apply for Eddie Jones job – both for England and the BaBa’s. The kick from wide right was impossible in the quagmire but somehow Will aced it through the middle. These Tough Mudder events he ran in the summer were paying off nicely….. 31-0 and still time to play.

Another kick-off, another try. Will to Dave, then Carlo smashing up the middle causing chaos. Back to Will and then back to Dave and a try under the posts with an easy kick for 38-0

Carlo ran back the next kickoff well. Arthur took the ball on into the opponents 22. Berry Hill won a penalty though and kicked upto halfway. Laurie was again the poacher and stole the ball. Orgy caught it nicely and was straight away dragged into contact. Smiling nicely at the coaches and Giulia’s camera he set the ball back with a cheeky grin. That’s me on the match report photo I saw him mouth at me….. We’ll see young man……

Mr T ran the ball well. Then the Rhino’s were unleashed. The backs were sitting back and admiring the hard work. Laurie went for a pick and went the wrong way with no support but he managed to keep the ball alive, draw in defenders and then pass out to Billy who squeezed down the line and dived in the corner. The hard kick was missed as the half-time whistle went.

Half Time: Stroud 43 – 0 Berry Hill

More subs were made as the team were sent back out with a clear message – keep a clean sheet. These Foresters are not going to lie down quietly and take a drubbing. They have too much pride for that.

5 minutes later Coach Samak was fired as Berry Hill scored their first try – and well earnt it was. This is how they did it….

Stroud getting penalised, Berry Hill kicking for corner. Good lineout work from the Foresters but equally good maul work by Carlo to hold them up. Stroud scrum on own 5 and ball ran out to 22 but knockon so Berry Hill scrum. Good attack right – denied by winger James with a great tackle. Will kick deep. Berry Hill run back well and more good defending by Arthur and James. More penalties to Berry Hill while camped on Stroud line. Finally a quick tap penalty and a dive over the line for well earnt try and great conversion. P45 for Coach Samak.

Berry Hill ran the kick off back well. They were fired up for the 2nd half for sure. Good tackling from Stoner knocked the ball loose and gave Stroud a scrum on halfway. They won it under great pressure from a strong Foresters forward pack. Arthur and Laurie made some good yardage but more good breakdown play forced a turnover. Berry Hill attacked straight back but first Callum and then Jed put in storming tackles. More clashing of bodies ended with a yelp as a Berry Hill forward collapsed to the ground holding his knee.

Realising the potential serious nature of the injury Chris immediately phoned Delia for help. She arranged to fly back from New Zealand in case the NHS ambulance was delayed more than 24 hours. While we waited to see which medic arrived first the Berry Hill player demanded he be carried off the pitch so the game could continue!! What a trooper! Great spirit! Told you that had great pride ! The various coaches and parent helpers found the stretcher and the player was safely removed from play (yes they did strap him to the stretcher Delia). 3 minutes later the Ambulance arrived – almost as quickly as Billy and Big Mac running down the wing. Delia was stood down also and play continued…..

Berry Hill found themselves in the Stroud 22 and attacked the try line but good defending was again keeping them out. The ball went loose and Will hacked it upto halfway. Berry Hill kicked it back and Arthur now at full back ranit back well – and into a high tackle. Will kicked for the corner. Berry Hill managed to win the lineout and kicked it out but Big Mac was ready to run it back into the 22. He was hauled down but this just gave Darion a chance to show his skills with a good run. The ball came out to Dave and he cut a great line and scored under the posts. Easy kick for 50-7.

Carlo ran back the next kickoff but again more careless ball control in the Rhinos caused a knockon. Berry Hill won their scrum (no surprise there as they showed great technique all game) and attacked right and left. Stoner was again on tackle duty to keep them at bay, followed by Callum and Perys. Another penalty was kicked to the 22. Berry Hill threw it long and from the base of the lineout attacked the Stroud line and scored another good try. This time the kick came back off the post with the score at 50-12.

This time Berry Hill knocked on their kickoff and Perys snaffled the ball and went on a great run. Will kicked diagonal to winger Big Mac who caught it well but alert defending stopped him from making any yardage. Stroud earnt a penalty though so a quick tap to Mr T and he crashed close to the line. The forwards went Rhino and Carlo was the benefactor with a well earnt forwards try. Another expert kick from out wide made it 57-12. Captain Will was going to be going into a sponsorship partnership with a customised pair of boots – not with Canterbury or Adidad but with “Hunters Wellington Boots Ltd” (Other Wellys are available – please consult the rugby parents at Minchinhampton and Tetbury for alternate brands).

The next kickoff was run back by Euan. Then the ball was taken deep into Berry Hill half by Dave. Next was Mr T from the base of the ruck and he rumbled for 20 yards and managed to touch down for a great individual try. Another fantastic conversion kick from Will from out wide and the phones started ringing again as the Nike and Adidas sales reps got into a bidding war to win back the boot sponsorship contract.

Carlo was again the kick-off return bulldozer. More punishing yards for the tiring defenders but they were still gallant in their defence and hauled him down and won another turnover. They attacked right but this time it was Laurie waiting with the rip tackle. Flash went on a good run, then Mr T again, and finally back to Laurie. The ball came back to Dave and he kicked into space on the right and Big Mac was there to recover the bouncing ball and score under the posts. This time an easy conversion gave Will the chance to relax and not worry anymore about his footing and risk of twisted ankles or falling flat on his face.

Full Time: Stroud 71 – 12 Berry Hill

So a great performance from Stroud. Will’s kicking was superb. 8 kicks from 11 in horrendous conditions – and a lot of difficult kicks from out wide. Good defence against a strong Berry Hill set of forwards but a little bit of improvement needed in the scrummaging and at the breakdown.

Special mention to the way Berry Hill played the game. Even though it was a clear outcome from early on they didn’t let their heads drop and they kept coming back and showing great skill and passion for the game. We hope your forward is not too badly injured and enjoyed the pleasures of Stroud A&E and the tea and biscuits. We all retired to the clubhouse and enjoyed industrial quantities of pasta and Bolognese. Spare portions will be taken to the hospital as a thanks for the medical staff.

As word got around the district there was spare good quality food available Keyan was seen sprinting into the clubhouse – even faster than the A&E ambulance who had promptly arrived 20 minutes earlier.

Next week its Farnham tour team on Friday night under lights and a chance to win 9 from 9. Lets hope the weather stays away giving the pitch chance to recover a bit more and give Will a more stable kicking platform. Nothing less than 100% is expected now after he can kick 73% in horrid conditions.