Thrilling Tour Match under Lights and 2 feet of Mud

The pitch had recovered well from the Berry Hill mudfest last weekend. A dry week and a pre-match sprinkling of rain had left it only with a 2 feet covering of mud – perfect for the open attacking backs moves that Stroud were renowned for.

The visitors to Fromehall were a touring team from Surrey. The Surrey County Champions Farnham who had beaten London Irish academy last season. Great pedigree. No doubt helped by Old Boy Jonny Wilkinson and a last minute drop goal. We had our own drop goal expert to nullify that threat – step forward Captain Will – and who can remember that drop goal from out wide vs Cinderford – never get bored of the good ole times…..

Stroud were not to be outdone and had rolled out some of their old boys. The Nomads were there – and they are old…..A lot of the First XV (who are much younger) were there to support which was great to see. Ex players Josh, Finn and Ed had come down to watch which was great to see. But in the case of Ed it was just another chance of a sailing training session on the Fromehall lake before his upcoming UK qualifier event in Ireland.

Last season we had beaten the Essex and Oxfordshire county champs so Surrey was just another county to try and claim the scalp of.

Any tour team that travels before Xmas must be proper serious. Or were they claiming it as a pre-mock GCSE revision tour? If that’s the case you’ve come to the right place. Stroud RFC was famous for its GCSE revision sessions to help with Creative Writing and Storytelling – the match reports that is…….

……And as the night came to an end Stroud had claimed another victory and we all went home happy……

Revision Lesson 1 – Lie through your teeth……

……And as the powerful team from the Stroud valleys scored another try vs the pink shirted Farnham tourists we all went home happy…….

Revision Lesson 2 – Give a little bit of credit to your arch rivals, but school friends, Minch for their performance…… PS – still not as powerful as us ;-)

OK enough of the revision rubbish. Lets talk rugby!

We had a whip round and found enough 50ps to put in the meter to keep the lights going. Let battle commence…..

Forwards: Carlo, Orgy, Bailey, Jedd, Laurie, Jake, Euan, Mr T
Backs: Hilly, Will, Dave, Arthur, Lofty, Big Mac, Alex
Subs: Stoner, Callum, Harry, Darion, Bernie, Liam, Lucas, Flash, James

Farnham kicked off and Mr T showed great ball handling to secure the ball and run it back strongly. The backs took over and attacked right with the 25 yard long passes we had implored them to keep using (to nullify the boring but useful 2 yard pop passes that the conditions dictated) but an unlucky knock-on gave Farnham a scrum restart. Their powerful forwards secured the ball, they attacked right, put in a great backs dummy line and crashed through the gap to score the 1st try of the game with less than a minute on the clock. Why was Dave playing for Farnham piped up Jim? Only Dave runs those damaging lines in our experience. We refocused through the fog and realised Dave was in blue and he had found a highly skilled opponent that would prove to be a battle all night long. Conversion missed leaving Farnham at 5-0.

Typical slow Stroud start, plenty of time to play, bound to be a try fest the sages of Stroud were heard muttering into their pints of Stout. How wrong they could be. It was only 20 minute halves due to the late start so we had 39 minutes left to dig ourselves out of this hole……

Farnham knocked on the kick-off and Stroud pounced on the ball. Carlo smashed up inside the 22. Ball back to Will and he went to Plan B. Diagonal kick to the try line. Big Mac was ready to pounce but under pressure from the defender he knocked on the squelchy ball. Farnham had a scrum on their own 5 yard line and set up deep in their try area as if they were going to run it out. That’s nuts we cried. And then we realised that’s what we do so well so at this point we realised we were in for a real battle with a team more than our equal. Game On ! Farnham won the scrum and kicked high and short but recovered it well. They kicked again for touch but Big Mac showed great soccer skills to keep the ball in play without a knock-on. He then weaved inside to be smashed to the ground with interest. Stay out on the wing is the lesson learnt there. Let Dave and the forwards take the punishment in there.

Stroud won a penalty in front of the posts and Will considered going for the posts and an easy 3 points but a quiet word of advice from the passionate supporters swayed his opinion. “Oi Wayne, go for the corner. Don’t go missing a sitter in front of the posts. I’ll never let you forget it” Chris O was heard screaming with an evil glint in his eye.

Will kicked for the corner. Orgy found jumper Laurie and Stroud drove for the line but an error gave Farnham a scrum which they won and they kicked for touch with an almighty sigh of relief. Chris O then changed his tune and at volume 100 reminded Will that the easy 3 points was actually the best option. The Farnham parents had a whip round, raided the tour drinking kitty and gave Chris £100 to keep shouting useful advice to our players for the rest of the game. 23 pints later Chris was still in fine form and reminding Will that a 80 yard penalty kick from Stroud’s own 22 was the best option and if we’d done that we would have won 6-5.

Anyway back to the game…. That’s why Farnham came here. The kick missed touch and Lofty ran it back well. Then Bailey smashed through a few defenders. Farnham competed well at the breakdown and won a turnover and then a penalty that they kicked to the Stroud 22. Jed won the lineout but it wasn’t straight so Stroud had a scrum restart that then was upgraded to a penalty for illegal wheeling of the scrum. Will kicked to halfway and Laurie won the lineout. Farnham's defensive press was excellent and it forced Stroud sideways and backwards. The ball was like a bar of soap on the ground and Farnham knocked on in a mad scramble. Stroud won the scrum and attacked through Dave. He broke the 1st line of defense and we all thought a try was on but excellent pursuit dragged him down. Will heaved a kick up nice and high. Lofty's kick chase was excellent and the catcher was hit immediately and held on so Stroud won another penalty that was kicked up the line. Farnham were showing great lineout skills and stole a Stroud throw-in. They attacked down the flank and Big Mac put in a big tackle on a guy twice his size and jarred the ball loose.

Stroud won the scrum restart near halfway with Orgy hooking well under immense pressure from a strong Farnham shove. More excellent passing from Hilly set the backs away. Arthur sliced through a gap into the Farnham half. Jake and Carlo kept it tight with controlled phases and earnt a penalty that was quickly tapped but control was lost. Good defense by Stroud with Darion and Euan tackling well forced a knock-on and a Stroud scrum which was duly won but ambitious passing and tough tackling caused a blue knock-on. Farnham immediately attacked back but stout tackling from Lucas, Laurie, Mr T and Orgy kept Farnham bottled up and forced another knock-on. Stoner recovered the ball and ran it back with interest. Farnham defenders flying in all directions – like the skittles in the skittle alley that was the normal highlight of a Friday night at Fromehall. Who says we are a sleepy market town….. We have a Cinema as well for real entertainment……

The stalemate continued with both sides cancelling each other out. Good runs by Dave were equalled by Farnham players. Stroud had a penalty and kicked to the Farnham 22. Laurie won the ball and the forwards drove to the line but Farnham outsmarted them and hadn’t competed and Stroud were penalised for obstruction in their keenness to get to the line. Farnham's kick for touch stayed in play and Alex caught it well and ran it back. Dave then had another good run but the ball was lost in contact.

Farnham won their scrum in their own 22 and attacked right showing great hands skills. First Stoner and then Flash put in bone crunching tackles. Farnham realised Stroud were equally stout in defense so went to the gruber kicking game to break the line. Alex dived into the mud to recover the ball as Farnham players ran through. Good rucking from Darion and Stoner secured Stroud ball. Carlo attacked next and Stroud went through a number of phases. Ball out to the backs with a lovely Lofty, Arthur, Lofty combination up the right. Back inside with Laurie, Lucas and Bailey going rhino. Back to the backs and Dave crashing through a number of tacklers. The sages were purring “Back to normal. Try coming. Panic over”. Farnham won a penalty immediately, had another whip round and Chris O went back to the bar with another £100. He loved these tour nights as it was a free drinking session for the Organ family subsidised by the visitors………

Farnham deep in their own half wisely tapped and kicked the penalty to touch as the half time whistle blew and a chance to regroup and take the wind out of the Stroud sails. Speaking of sails Ed was readied as a sub as his sailing skills could be the missing ingredient we needed to break through this resolute Farnham naval blockade. Quite impressive for a land-locked town.

Half Time: Stroud 0 – 5 Farnham

Copious substitutions continued to give every player the half game rule. Special mention for Harry to finally make it back on the pitch after his year long injury nightmare – all from kicking a soccer ball. Dangerous game. Stick with rugger and poleaxing 15 stone teenagers which is what the average size of a Farnham forward seemed to be.

Stroud kicked off and Farnham got hemmed into their own 22. They kicked high into the lights but an excellent leaping catch by Alex into traffic secured Stroud the ball. Shame Alex had jumped so high and landed on the A46 and caused a 3 car pile-up. Only kidding. It was a 3 body pileup as Bernie and Harry took their opponents 5 yards backwards with excellent rucking technique. The backs attacked right with Dave and Arthur and then another forward pass stopped another potential try run.

The next 5 minutes was all Stroud. Constant pressure in the Farnham 22 with penalties, lineouts and more strong runs from Jake, Carlo and Laurie. A 5 metre Stroud lineout seemed to give us a chance and Laurie duly won the ball but excellent Farnham defense forced the drive into touch. Farnham won their lineout with fake jumpers confusing the Stroud lineout. Farnham kicked for touch but this time the Stroud lineout misfired and Farnham won it. They kicked again for touch into the Stroud half. Laurie won the lineout under great pressure and Lofty went on a swerving run and earnt a penalty. No surprise - kick for touch and another win. This time it was Bernie who controlled the long throw well but more strong Farnham pressure forced a Stroud error.

The next Stroud attacking moment came with a Will, Arthur, Flash combination that looked promising. Good cover tackling forced the ball back inside so Dave and Jake took over and got deeper into the Farnham half. Dave swerved right and passed onto James who took the ball well and then took the high tackle even better. 10 metres out Stroud went for the penalty scrum (At this point Chris O was claiming another penalty kick for a 6-5 Stroud lead – and another £100 of Farnham kitty duly pocketed). Stroud won the scrum with Lucas, Liam and Carlo pushing Farnham back well. The backs went left and a try looked on but another loose pass under great pressure forced a Stroud knock-on and a groan from the parents. Not because of the missed chance but because Stratt's was going to close the bar early at 3am as we were running out of beer.

Farnham won their scrum and attacked well with their forwards into the Stroud half. Dave managed to win a turnover, and then a penalty for holding on. Will kicked into the Farnham half and with only a try needed to win the tension was rising. But rising even better was the Farnham jumper who stole the Stroud lineout and deflated the watching public. Bernie put in a great tackle and forced Farnham to kick – only as far as Jakes face who controlled the ball well and then his nose lost control and the ball went into touch. Farnham’s excellent lineout won the ball again and they showed great skills and why they are the Surrey County Champs to control the ball for the next 90 seconds with both forward and backs moves. Signs of excellent coaching and kids that want to improve at every opportunity.

Stroud eventually slowed them down and won a penalty and we realised it was last play – and last chance saloon. Could Stroud knick the victory? Will kicked the penalty to the Farnham 22 and we all got excited. Lineout ball in. More Farnham pressure and a Stroud knock-on and it was game over. How fitting it was the Farnham forwards and their lineout that secured the victory. They had been immense all night. Stroud's first loss of the season after winning 8 on the trot.

Full Time: Stroud 0 – 5 Farnham

So that was it. A scoreless 2nd half. The score-line was more representative of recent England Euro 2020 footy qualifiers. And we know how much Jo loves football. 2 powerful teams had cancelled each other out for the whole game – apart from one error in the first minute of the match.

Defense had been the winner but the large crowd were royally entertained in a humdinger of a game. Yes the muddy wet pitch had limited the backs attacking moves but great skill was shown by everyone to limit their mistakes in a hard hitting game. Shame it was only 40 minutes long and not a normal 70 minute game. But even then another 30 minutes would probably have been scoreless with the great discipline both teams showed defensively. 30 more minutes would have taken another 6” of grass and mud off the pitch and onto the players shirts and choked up the Samak’s washing machine for the rest of the week as they needed 6 boil washes per shirt to get them back to normality.

Farnham were fully deserving of their victory and a great start to their tour. On reflection Stroud will be very proud of their performance against a great team and in very testing conditions. One missed pass from a 7-5 Stroud victory or one missed tackle away from a 0-0 drudge fest. Good job I can dress up any low scoring game as a nail biting classic!

As the crowds left the stadium (aka derelict stand) they were heard asking for refunds. Even Arsenal score more goals than that Geoff quipped. They weren’t used to seeing Stroud U16s losing, and they had never seen them not score a try. To try and keep the club solvent we couldn’t afford cash refunds so we offered everyone copious helpings of pasta and Bolognese. The club was already onto a loser tonight as our best asset – the match ball – had been lost in the first 5 minutes so we’d have to ask the bank for another loan to cover us for next weekend.

Everyone retired to the clubhouse to exchange stories. The kids were fed well as always and the parents were well oiled at the bar. Tori showing her lack of understanding for our demoralised kids had cooked up a great batch of Donuts for pudding. The Stroud boys broke out into tears when they saw this. They didn’t need reminding this was the first time they had failed to score any points in a game….. 3 seconds later they were back to their normal selves as they polished them off without licking their lips. Now that’s real Friday night skill – none of this egg chasing lark. The Farnham squad had failed the donut challenge and licked their lips frequently. The coaches convened and declared the night a draw. Farnham won the rugby, Stroud won the clubhouse. But no one likes a drawer. Tiebreak needed. Coach Samak had done a great job in the post match debrief and the thankyou speeches. He was the winner. Even if he was only 5ft 11” vs 6ft 5” of the Farnham coach size isn’t always the winner and heart is everything. Therefore Stroud won again. Told you I’d make this into a positive match report and another victory.

Thanks to Jo for reffing both games. Thanks to Stratt's and the bar staff and the kitchen staff for their hospitality. Stroud Rugby Club at its best.

About 11pm people started to retire home. The 50ps ran out and the floodlights were turned off, and the youth of Stroud returned back to the derelict stand to carry on their “cider and black” drinking session.

Normal service had returned to Stroud…. ……A great night had been had by all.

Now a GCSE Rugby History titbit to keep the revision theme alive.....if we had drawn 0-0 would have made national headlines. Even in defeat these boys are pretty good at trying to get noticed!!