Lead footed Stroud Limp past Ledbury

It was the 1st day of December. The rain had finally stopped. The sun was out. The kids had finally finished digesting Amalfi’s finest pizza and Mr T’s incredible birthday cake and had this morning gorged themselves on advent calendar chocolate. Nothing like finely honed athletes eating controlled calorific intake, sleeping 10 hours a night, and doing their homework on time…..

We were off to Cider country to play new opponents Ledbury. Phil and the rest of the coaching crew were looking forward to gorging themselves on a pint of Herefordshire’s finest. Absent parents Jim and Bill had realised their error and were hurridly trying to organise a taxi over to Ledbury. Local brewery Weston’s cider had a promotion on and they wanted in.
With a fine start to the day what could go wrong……

….well a lack of players was the first hurdle to overcome. A shortage of backs for a variety of reasons meant a re-org of the squad and pacy flanker Perys moved out to the wing to see if he could replicate his captivating Minch display. To incentivise Perys to play out of position we offered his Dad a 4 park of Perry made from Herefordshire’s finest Pears. Steve wasn’t interested and liked the apple drink more. So we raided coach Phillips secret stash of apple and blackberry flavoured drink. “Pint of Diesel” shouted the parents. “Nah” shouted Mark – I only got a kids fruit shoot left….

Forwards: Bernie, Liam, Carlos, Darion, Laurie, Jake, Euan, Mr T
Backs: Hilly, Will, Dave, Arthur, Lofty, Perys, Alex
Subs:, Lucas, Jedd, Stoner, Orgy, Callum, James

Stroud kicked off and Perys was immediately into the game with a monumental tackle (copyright M Samak First XV match report vs Matson – who says I write original prose!). Mr T was next to floor his opponent. Then Laurie man-handled the ball away from the next runner which gave Stroud quick turnover ball. Carlo pounding run to the left, then Dave into the 22 and then a deft pass to honorary winger Perys who squeezed down the line and looked to score but for an excellent last gasp cover tackle that forced him just short as he dived for the line. Not to worry the pack took over and a couple of Rhino’s later Mr T crashed over for the opening try. The conversion was just missed but Stroud had started fast with a 5-0 lead.

Lofty ran back the kick-off with a typical swerving run bamboozling the Ledbury tacklers. The ball went loose but Alex picked it up and carried on the move. The forwards were winning the early rucks well and making good choices with Pick and Go’s and Rhinos. Euan and Liam had good attacking runs and were forcing Ledbury back at a rate of knots. Hilly with typical accuracy set the backs away they went right and a try beckoned but a loose pass caused a knock-on. Ledbury won their scrum under their posts and kicked to halfway for a breather.

The lineout wasn’t straight so Ledbury opted for a scrum that they won but great work by the pack held up the runner in a maul and Stroud earnt a scrum restart that they attacked left from with a Will, Alex, Will loop combination. The ball came back right but Stroud lost control and Ledbury set their backs away. Somehow they squeezed through the blue tacklers and looked to work a try move but Alex was back with a tap tackle that felled the runner and forced a knock-on. Stroud were careless at the scrum and conceded a penalty that Ledbury kicked to the Stroud 22., This time it was Jake who made amends by stealing the Ledbury throw-in. Hilly choose the right option and kicked over the top. A good kick chase won Stroud the ball and Dave went left and then Perys continued the attacking charge. More good Ledbury cover tackles forced him into touch. Jake was again the lineout champ and stole another throw. Hilly got the ball out quickly to Will who spotted Dave running the perfect line and a nifty pass gave Dave an easy run to the line and a simple conversion for 12-0.

Normal service had resumed we thought. How wrong we were!

Stroud knocked on the kick-off and Ledbury won their scrum on the Stroud 22. Their inventive backs ran some good lines to force an overlap down the wing and a try looked a sure bet but Alex had read it well and a monumental tackle (another 50p owned to Samak Literacy Enterprises) saved a certain try. Stroud somehow lost their lineout on their own 5 metre line and the pressure was back on. Big Ledbury runners pounded the line. Lofty put in a heroic tackle (can’t afford the Royalties to Samak anymore). Bernie was next to risk life and limb against the big Ledbury lock. Stupendous tackle we shouted. But as the Stroud pack looked over quizzically at the coaches for their clever use of thesaurus they missed the next runner and he scored in the corner. The kick was missed with the score at 12-5.

Jake and Mr T did a great kick chase and Stroud won the ball. Arthur attacked 1st followed by Jake. Will saw a gap and kicked to the try area but Ledbury covered it well and kicked it back straight to Will who then ran down the left wing and was bundled into touch. Ledbury throw a short lineout and Carlo was ready with a thumping tackle. The Ledbury scrumhalf had to dig his player and then ball out of the big crater Carlo had helped create. 3 minutes later the scrum halfs kick was charged down and Jake caught it well and scored in the corner. A great conversion from Will and Stroud were leading 19-5.

Jake ran the kickoff back well. Will running excellent supporting lines all game was ready to take the ball into the Ledbury half. As he was forced wide a lovely inside pass to Arthur kept the move alive but it was eventually stopped by the ref awarding Ledbury another penalty. They kicked to touch but this time it was Laurie who stole the throw, and then somehow engineered a powerful weaving run until he was forced into touch 30 metres later. Ledbury woin their lineout this time and attacked left and again looked to be in a try scoring position but Alex again was their nemesis and put in a blockbuster tackle. “That’s for my mum – she loves Blockbusters” he shouted as he drove his opponent into the ground and the ball jarred loose. Both parents and players were bemused by this turn of phrase. An embarrassed Caroline was forced to come clean and had to admit her TV appearance in the 1980’s. She never got to ask Bob for a Pee but she still has the sweater and will wear it to Clifton if you ask her nicely (That’s me officially in the dog-house until Xmas!).

Stroud couldn’t do much with the turnover and the game alternated with both teams attacking and defending in equal measures. Stroud looked to have worked an overlap down the left wing but another loose pass went backwards and Ledbury picked it up on their 22 and looked sure to score from deep nut a hard working Arthur chased back magnificently to force their winger into touch on the Stroud 22. Stroud won their lineout and Dave filling in at #10 for injured Will honked a big kick to half way. Ledbury and Stroud traded lineouts and kicks until eventually Stroud started to panic close to their own line. A banana kick went sideways and gave Ledbury an attacking scrum on the Stroud 5. Stroud pushed well but Ledbury managed to keep the ball alive, attacked left and found a gap and scored under the posts. Good kick and it was now 19-12.

The last passage of play was a Lofty kick chase, good Rhinos by the forwards that earnt a penalty. A kick to the corner and then a knocked on lineout that gave Ledbury a scrum that they duly won and then kicked the ball dead as the refs whistle went.

Half Time: Ledbury 12 – 19 Stroud

Stroud needed the break to try and re-organise the breakdown work and not allow Ledbury to turnover ball while Strouds attacking pods watched their attacking chance disappear.

Next score was going to be crucial. Going up the hill was going to make it harder but we were confident in the squad…..until the kickoff got dropped! Ledbury won the scrum and attacked left and a great out-the-back-hand offload released their left winger and he dotted down in the left corner. The kick was missed but it was game on at 19-17 to Stroud.

Ledbury caught the kickoff well and chipped over the top. Alex's football skills saved him a knock-on, but the lack of efficient rucking cost Stroud the ball (again). This time Ledbury kicked the ball straight to touch and Stroud had a let-off. Jake won the lineout with great lifting from Lucas and Jedd. Dave attacked right and then Will gruber kicked into space but again Ledbury recovered the ball well and kicked for touch. Another errant throw gave Ledbury a scrum restart and win. Perys won the turnover and this gave Darion a good attacking opportunity but Ledbury did well to keep him out. Stroud couldn’t capatilise and Ledbury eventually won the ball. Ledbury kicked deep and Alex caught it well and ran it back. This time Orgy and Stoner helped secure clean ball and the backs set off right. Dave found a gap and looked to score but somehow he was dragged down close to the line. Stroud won a penalty and kicked for the corner. Jake won it well. Darion then attacked right. James then had a go and was held up short. Another run by Jake. Then a Stroud penalty that Lofty quickly tapped but was held up short. Lucas and Darion did well with a sequence of Rhinos. They were right on the line and Stoner, Callum and Orgy had cleared right through the ruck giving a nice space to attack. Lofty took the glory away from the pack and scored a 2” try. Wills kick was missed but Stroud were up by 7 at 24-17. What wasn’t missed was linesman Jo going to retrieve the ball and disappearing over the advertising boarding as he tripped in his keenness to get the ball back into play. Had he really fallen over the barrier or was it the Weston’s cider that was affecting the vision of the onlooking crowd? Answers on a Postcard to “You’ve Been Framed” c/o You Tube. Lets hope Giulia caught it on camera to help earn Stroud RFC £250 to pay for Carlo’s next birthday party.

Mr T caught the kickoff well and ran it back powerfully. Darion was next followed by Laurie – punching big holes in the Ledbury defensive line. Stroud lost control again with another penalty to Ledbury and a kick to touch. They won the lineout and Euan was alert with a punishing low tackle. Stroud won a penalty, kicked to touch. Jake won it. Ball out to Will and with 80 yards to go he faked about 14 passes and ran the length of the pitch to score under the posts. So much for an injured ankle. To try and win some sympathy he elected to have Dave kick the conversion which was duly executed and Stroud were now looking comfortable at 31-17.

Carlo had a great kick off run back upto half way. Dave kicked for space and kick tennis ensued. Mr T got bored of watching so smashed the Ledbury runner into next week. The next runner was dumped backwards by Stoner. Stroud won the ball and Liam went into pinball mode and bounced his way 10 yards down the pitch. Ledbury were forced to concede a penalty. A quick tap and the backs went right and Arthur crashed through close to the line and reached out to score but the ball was dislodged. Ledbury kicked long and knocked on their kick so Stroud had a scrum restart. Lofty went sniping. Ledbury didn’t like that and the tackle was a tad ‘lofty’ as his hips went above vertical and he crashed to the ground. The players had a slight disagreement over the height of the tackle. Dave – as ever the diligent Maths revision in his kit bag - got his protractor out and proved the angle of drop was too high. The ref agreed and Stroud had a penalty that was kicked to touch. Again the lineout was adjudged not straight. Again Dave offered the ref his protractor but it wasn’t needed as the refs decision is always correct, and always final. Ledbury won their scrum and attacked left. James put in a strong tackle and then the rest of the pack joined in for a team maul. 2 minutes later as the clock clicked into the red the ref blew his whistle for full time and no chance for Stroud to have 1 final attack.

Full Time: Ledbury 17 – 31 Stroud

Stroud had got back on the winning band wagon but it hadn’t been pretty. Lack of discipline at the breakdown and not clearing out rucks well enough was the main culprit. This will be rectified for sure before big game next weekend against Clifton. Top two teams in Gloucestershire meet in Bristol to fight for the title of “Best Team in Gloucestershire” – and that includes Gloucester Rugby First XV who are having a shocker at the moment!

Thanks to Ledbury for their hospitality and hosting us in cider country.

Thanks to Coach Samak and his First XV match report and teaching me clever words for big tackle ! Lets hope we have plenty of those next weekend at Clifton!