It's snow joke – Stroud turn defeat into resounding victory with an avalanche of tries

The weather gods were conspiring against Stroud. Friday training cancelled due to 3” snow. Now with a hard frost the morning fixture away at Cheltenham Tigers had to be in doubt. No cancellation emails so off to the frozen north we go.

In horse racing terms last week the going was soft to diabolical – like some of the rugby ! This week at the home of National Hunt racing the going was rock hard to glacier. At least on the new astro pitch the sheen of ice would allow the players to slide like curling stones and not have their limbs shredded on the plastic grass. Actually to give the pitch some credit once the sun came out and they had removed the blocks of ice it was a fantastic surface to play on – just right for the attacking brand of rugby that Stroud liked to play.

It was the start of the 6 Nations and world class international rugby referred by impartial refs. Cheltenham had dug deep (to remove the last of the snow from the pitch) and flown in a ref from South Africa. Now that’s following the World Rugby rule book to the letter of the law…..I hope we weren’t expected to pay half his air fare.

Stroud welcomed back Laurie and Harry to the forward pack, but were now missing Jedd, Lucas and Bailey. So we gained 12ft 6” in lineout height but lost 50 stone in scrummage power.

Captain Will was missing with Laurieitis (severe man flu) but after Ryan’s assured performance last 2 weeks we had no concerns about the fly half position.

Forwards: Liam, Orgy, Bernie, Darion, Laurie, Harry, Stoner, Keyan
Backs: Hilly, Ryan, Dave, Arthur, Fin, Big Mac, Alex
Subs: Callum, Flash, James, Euan

Cheltenham kicked off and Hilly showed excellent football skills to trap the ball dead – Liverpool scouts were watching and he was looking to impress. Hilly then got smashed by the Cheltenham kick chase but the ref was so confused if he was watching football or rugby he decided to give Stroud a penalty because we all know footballers can’t take contact! Stroud quickly attacked and a combination of Big-Mac and Keyan made good yardage down the pitch. Good rucking from Liam and Bernie gave Keyan a pick that he executed perfectly down the blindside and scored the first try of the game. Dave stepped up for kicking duties and equally confused over the football skills on show decided to try and win the crossbar challenge. Clang - he smashed it into the metalwork and won the footy prize, but lost 2 rugby points. Stroud 5-0 up.

Laurie caught the kick off well and returned it strongly. At the ruck the ball was knocked on so Cheltenham had a scrum restart on the Stroud 22. The scrums were uncontested due to missing Cheltenham props and their #8 picked and went blindside – past the snow blinded Stoner – and scored in the left corner. An excellent conversion from wide put Cheltenham up 7-5.

Stroud kicked short and won a turnover. Liam went on a good run, soon followed by Laurie, Darion and Harry. More quick ball from the ruck gave Ryan space to exploit and an expert dummy pass opened up a gap for him to exploit. He was close to scoring but was tackled into touch. Cheltenham won their lineout but more good Stroud defensive pressure forced a turnover. Keyan took it on and then Big Mac – until he was “quarter pounded” into the ground with a “whopper” of a tackle as his ex team mates “relished” the chance to “ketchup” and “bun”dle their friend to the ground. Stroud won a penalty though and opted for a scrum. Dave was released down the wing but was tackled into touch.

Cheltenham won the lineout and attacked up the left wing. They kicked over Alex but he got back to recover the ball but as he was isolated he held on too long and Cheltenham won a penalty. They quickly tapped and threatened to score but Arthur ripped the ball loose. Ryan kicked the ball but the Cheltenham full back caught the ball and ran it back to the Stroud empty side and scored a good try, Another excellent kick from wide made it 14-5. Its just a blip the coaches re-assured each other….

The next time we looked up it was 21-5 ! How did that happen? Another long Cheltenham run back stopped bravely by Bernie. Then a kicking battle between Cheltenham and Alex, and finally another quick tap penalty and Cheltenham crashed over for their 3rd try with another excellent conversion. Was captain Will feigning illness and playing for Cheltenham? Not seen any other kickers kick as well as the Cheltenham player.

Stroud kicked off again – this time we won a penalty though that Keyan took quickly, He was hauled to the ground but had punched a big hole in the defence and this gave Darion just enough space to squeeze through on one of his trademark runs and score a good try. Dave’s kick was good and Stroud were back in with a chance at 21-12.

Cheltenham kicked deep to Dave who then smashed it back with interest. Quick Cheltenham legs and a poor kick chase gave away an offside penalty back to where Dave had kicked it on the 22. Cheltenham realised points win prizes so took on the kick and nailed it again for a 24-12 lead.

Another long Cheltenham runback was halted by Fin this time. Cheltenham kicked again but this time they were pinged for off-side. Keyan took the tap penalty up the left wing but knocked on in contact as he dived for the try line. Cheltenham won their uncontested scrum and kicked long. Alex caught cleanly and Big Mac took on the ball at pace. The backs move broke down though as the ball was knocked on as a try looked to be the prize.

The teams traded lineouts and penalties. Cheltenham were kicking the ball often – wind and bright sun assisted – plus knowing the pitch bounce and how that helped add a few yards to every hoof. Alex picked up one kick on his own try line and managed to avoid a few tacklers to make it out to the 22. Then Fin attacked right, Stoner crashed the ball up inside followed by Laurie and then Liam. Play slowed up but Euan and Orgy won the clearout battle and Darion went Rhino well supported by Stoner. Cheltenham were penalised for offside so a quick tap penalty from Keyan gave him the chance to score on the left. Dave realising we were in a kicking battle slotted the conversion superbly and the game was now much closer than had looked possible. The ref blew for half time and the patio heaters were rolled out to warm up the players and supporters.

Half Time: Cheltenham 24 – 19 Stroud

The sub changes were made and Stroud were sent back out to try and keep the momentum they had earnt in the last 10 minutes.

Stroud kicked deep and Euan made an excellent tackle. Cheltenham were getting forced backwards by excellent pressure from the backs so they opted to kick. Fortunately for Stroud, but less so for Bernie’s modelling career, his nose did an excellent kick block and the loose ball was knocked on – probably the 3 pints of Bernie’s blood made it difficult to control. Stroud had a scrum 5 that Keyan took on and as he was forced wide he passed to Dave who crashed over the line and scored the equalising try. As he reached for the line he jammed his thumb into the ground and only 4 miles of tape was needed to strap it back into a semi-normal position. If only Delia had been here. She could have done it with a dainty plaster and not needed an afternoon trip to A&E to assess the severity of the injury. Dave’s foot was still attached correctly and working fine as he slotted the kick and Stroud had re-taken the lead 26-24 after 30 minutes of lagging behind.

Keyan ran back the kickoff well. Then Euan had a good run. Darion went left and fed Big Mac who went on a weavy run left and then back to the right. He passed wide to Daves thumb who decided to avoid the painful catch but a well placed Keyan caught the pass and out ran the defence to score in the right corner. The kick was missed but Stroud were now a try up at 31-24.

Harry caught the next kickoff and Ryan improvised with a gruber kick into space. Cheltenham recovered it well but as the player looked up he saw Dave’s disfigured thumb ripping the ball and let him have it as he had never seen a thumb that big attacking him !! Callum and Euan secured the ball at the ruck and Keyan saw a blindside option and quickly passed to James. He made some good ground down the wing but was bundled into touch.

Cheltenham won their lineout but couldn’t make much yardage. The next few minutes the teams traded blows as they realised the importance of the next try. Good runs from Big Mac and Euan were the highlights. Defensively more good work from Stoner and Arthur kept Cheltenham in check. A Liam piledriver tackle dislodged the ball and Stroud had a scrum restart on halfway. Keyan picked from the scrum base and attacked. Good hands from Dave and Arthur got the ball into the 22. Darion and Harry went rhino to draw in more defenders. Flash saw the opportunity and set the backs off to the left and who should be there but Keyan to finally dot down in the corner. Dave’s kick from wide was missed – his body shape was all wrong as his rapidly expanding thumb was now affecting his centre of gravity. Stroud now led 36-24 and finally had a cushion.

Ryan caught the kickoff and had a good runback. Dave then kicked over the top into space but Cheltenham controlled it well and worked their way back up the pitch with some dynamic running left and right. They worked their way into the Stroud 22 and were threatening to score when an errant high tackle from our #13 gave them a tap penalty that they took quickly. Great defence from Liam though held them out but it just delayed the inevitable as they worked the ball left and scored in the corner. The kick was missed but it was back to a one score game at 29-36.

Stroud kicked long and the ball went dead in the try area. Cheltenham kicked their 22 drop out wide but Fin was well positioned to catch and run it back. Eventually Cheltenham forced a turnover that they duly knocked on in the excitement of having some attacking options and a chance for the equalising score. Stroud had a scrum on the Cheltenham 10 and Keyan faked one way and Flash set the backs off left. Good passing from Flash and Ryan released Arthur and he finished the move from distance to score an excellent try. Dave then put the dagger in the heart with a great conversion from wide left. Stroud now up 43-29.

The final phase of the game went as follows. Harry catch. Keyan and Arthur runs. Laurie lineout catch. Ryan good run and then Laurie crash ball run. Cheltenham earnt a tap penalty but that just gave Keyan 2 crunching tackles to add to his stats count. Cheltenham were penalised again and Dave kicked deep for touch. Laurie won the lineout on the Cheltenham 22. Backs went left and Dave danced his way close to the line. The forwards led by Callum and Bernie’s bruised nose won another ruck battle. No 9 was the call as Flash was also first to the fray and keeping the Tigers at bay. Orgy saw his chance for glory and instead of going Rhino into the Tigers went all Swallow with a lovely diving pass out to the right that set Keyan free to smash his way over the last defender for his 5th try. Dave’s kick was good as the full time whistle went and everyone went to congratulate Orgy for his vision and prowess to pull of such a flash move – for a hooker – that Flash and Hilly would’ve been proud of!

Full Time: Cheltenham 29 – 50 Stroud

Both teams applauded each other off the pitch. Cheltenham were much improved from when we played them at the start of the U14s season. The influence of Tommie Richie’s players was clear to see and they had certainly frightened us in the 1st half. Their back moves and penalty moves were a joy to watch and certainly made Stroud work hard defensively – but eventually we came out on top with a superb last 40 minutes of play and dominated the game 45-8 in that period. Not that it felt like a dominating 2nd half for the kids as they were surprised by the magnitude of their victory which shows what a battle it had been. Another good shift put in by all the forwards to make up for the lack of subs. Excellent ball handling by the backs and Keyan at #8 to allow them to exploit the excellent surface and show off their backs moves.

The kids retreated to the changing rooms for a quick shower – shouldn’t take too long as no mud to hose off unlike last week. Just need a bit of time to apply the plasters and Vaseline to the knees and elbows that were showing plenty of signs of plastic grass abrasion …..

……45 mins later Dave and Keyan made it to the clubhouse and got the last helping of chicken curry and chips. Dave’s injured thumb was as big as the grin on his face when he saw the quality of the food. So a 3 minute shower and 42 minutes to try and put on his shirt and tie with his poorly thumb while Keyan laughed in sympathy and probably live streaming it on You Tube for comedy value……

Thanks to Cheltenham for hosting us and for providing the best food of the season. Thanks also for the South African ref for keeping the game moving – he certainly had a worn out look by the end of the game and probably wished for a 12-6 slug fest in the slush! We look forward to playing you next season.

Mid-season stats check courtesy of Mark. Must have got bored while waiting for Dave’s thumb to be attended to at A&E.
13 games played. Won 8, Lost 5. Points for 491, points against 403. Average score 38 – 31 to us so keeps the supporters happy and the coaches nerves in shreds. Considering the high quality of the opposition we have faced this season it shows how close the games have been – and high scoring. If we can tighten that defense we can win a few more and hope to get revenge on Clifton and Cinderford later in the season.